Oh my gosh, I haven’t blogged for MONTHS, which is horrendous, I’m sorry! Life update for you all – I got the job! (I think I mentioned in my last blog that I’d got an interview). I’ve now been in this job for nearly two months and I’m really enjoying it. Yay for being able to share good news!
I wanted to talk to you all today about something that I feel is quite important. A lot of our lives nowadays is online (a moment to appreciate the irony that I’m writing this for an online blog) and in the grand scheme of things – let’s not forget that I did actually study History once – it’s been a very quick change. The industrial revolution…that took years! Women didn’t get the vote for years after the suffragist movement started! Yet the Internet and social media has literally escalated over the last decade and a bit, and I don’t think we’ve figured out how to truly adapt to this.
I’m going off on a bit of a tangent, and I can feel you getting bored, so back to the point. Once upon a time, a person would go through school, potentially go to university, get jobs, y’know, they have a life. As part of this journey, the people around us, generally, is ever changing. You’ll meet new people. You’ll stop seeing some people. And this is okay. But social media has brought about this culture of keeping hold of people; which is great in some regards, don’t get me wrong. I’m obviously happy to be able to keep such close touch with some of my friends.
However, I also think it’s a really bad thing. We suddenly know exactly what that girl who we sat next to in maths at school but never actually spoke to is doing 5 years later. A person you met on a drunk night out once and never spoke to again…well, we know they just got a new job. At what point did we start keeping our passing acquaintances? If you don’t ever actually speak to someone, or even more so, don’t even think about that person, then why is the link still there?
Hopefully, I’ve got you thinking about your own lives. Recently, in my life, I’ve realised that I don’t actually need certain people. There are some toxic people out there, who do nothing to contribute to your life apart from bothering it. But you’ve still got that person on Facebook. Any other decade, they’d be long gone, and wouldn’t still be a part of your life!
Social media’s answer to this sort of thing is the ability to unfriend, delete, or block that person. In this day and age, I don’t think anyone can actually hide themselves completely online, but these measures are there. But don’t you find that you only reach for the unfriend button because of a nasty argument? Like, there’s a big reason (that usually has a dramatic story behind it) as to why you’ve decided to block?
Recently, I’ve found myself unfriending a few people on Facebook. Sometimes, it is simply to let go of that person, because they’re not a thing in my life anymore, and it doesn’t seem right that my personal photos can be accessed by them so easily. However, today, I found myself unfriending someone for the reasons I mentioned before. Toxicity is something that I realised I simply do not want in my life. Sure, sometimes toxic people are unavoidable, but, if you have the power to avoid it, I think that you should.
I want all readers, but particularly younger readers, to know that might sometimes mean waiting until you know the drama isn’t going to come into your life – so, although you might really want to, will it really make a difference if you delete someone on Facebook, if that person might be able to come face to face with you the next day and get into a shouting match with you?
Guys, it’s gonna take time. It’s taken me 23 years (10 of which I’ve spent online) to figure this out. Honestly, sometimes it feels like the biggest weight off your chest to hit that block button, to unfriend that person, when it is for the right reasons. We have created a society where self esteem is low, confidence is rare, and misery is ignored. If you can help yourself, you should. And I don’t want to be those things, I want to be happy. You wouldn’t let the school bully come into your home, so why let them on your Facebook page?
Until next time my loves – and if you’re the sort of person who needs quotes to kick start a decision, have a look at some I picked out: